I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
