i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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