He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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