Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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