Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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