I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
