I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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