Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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