i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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