she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize