I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
