let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
