Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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