we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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