how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
