Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
