4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
