hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how drunk are you?
Several
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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