check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
