the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
