Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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