What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
