dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize