time to smoke my breakfast
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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