i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
