When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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