I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
