What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
