We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
50% drunk capacity currently
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize