i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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