boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
