38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
