plz talk dirty to me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
