Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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