im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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