mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
