I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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