I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize