You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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