Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
