so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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