So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
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Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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