Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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