it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
