I just cut my nipple shaving
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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