Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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