I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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