She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
