If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
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