Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
