TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
