Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
