umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You left your underwear on the fireplace
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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