East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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