He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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