My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
